Katharine McPhee vs Samantha Fox…A “Touch Me” Showdown!

Racy by 80’s standards…

So a few months ago, NBC started airing promos for the new Broadway drama called “Smash” and in it, they used the new single by Katharine McPhee called “Touch Me.” It’s catchy as hell and sexy and ready for the dance floors and I was smitten with it right away. This, in turn, brought to mind another tune called “Touch Me” by 80’s pin-up girl and British supermodel, Samantha Fox. Released in 1986, Fox’s “Touch Me” made it all the way to #4 on the American pop charts and gave Samantha her 15 minutes of fame here in the states.

Racy by today’s standards?

The question here is…which one of these tracks is better? For its time, Fox’s single was considered somewhat racy for an artist that wasn’t named Madonna. In today’s society, McPhee’s “Touch Me” might not hold up considering some of the bawdy music that’s out there nowadays. So YOU be the judge. Here are BOTH singles. Let me know what ya think! For MY money…I dig the McPhee song…but Samantha will always be a reminder of my youth. Who wins? Aaaaaaand….GO!

Dumb Songs Cage Match: Lady Gaga vs Adele vs Rihanna!!!

So there are 3 songs on the radio right now that perplex me. I am, unfortunately, a prisoner to my kids and their taste in music and I have find myself listening mindlessly to plenty of pop music lately but the other day I actually listened to the lyrics of a few songs that were being played and…seriously? Who is writing these lyrics? I want THAT gig. That’s a job that ranks up there with TSA agents and weathermen as far as I’m concerned because these lyrics make NO sense. So which ones are dumber? Let’s take a look…shall we?

Lady Gaga – “Marry The Night”

I’m gonna marry the night,
I won’t give up on my life.
I’m a warrior queen.
I’m gonna make love to the stars.
I’m a soldier to my own emptiness.
I’m a winner.

Um…DUMB!

Adele – “Set Fire To The Rain”

I set fire to the rain,
Watch it pour as I touch your face,
Let it burn when I cry,
Cause I heard it screaming your name, your name
I set fire to the rain,
And I feel lost into the…
Cause I knew that was the last time
The last time, oh, oh!

In all fairness, my wife pointed this one out to me. But she has a point. As deep as this TRIES to be…it’s still pretty stupid.

Rihanna – “We Found Love”

Yellow diamonds in the light
And we’re standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive

It’s the way I’m feeling I just can’t deny
But I’ve gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place

(Continue to repeat endlessly and add a terrible techno beat)

So there you have it…3 popular songs on the radio and 3 stupid lyrics that you have probably been singing along to and didn’t even realize it. Which one is the dumbest of them all? YOU DECIDE!!!

(But my money is on Gagag…)

Britney vs The Bellamy Brothers???

VS
Gee…what do YOU think…?

Oh look…Britney Spears has a new #1 single on ITunes this week and it’s her latest single release called “Hold It Against Me.” I’ve heard it and quite frankly…it’s terrible. In the usual Britney over-synthesized vocals she sings ridiculous lyrics like this…

Gimme something good
Don’t wanna wait I want it now (na-na-now)
Pop It like a hood
And show me how you work it out

You feel like paradise and I need a vacation
If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me.

Um…no.

Look…I can’t say I HATE Britney Spears because, quite frankly, between her and Lady Gaga, there is so much fodder for comedians and critics that its hard to say that she means nothing to the music industry. Actually, on the contrary, everything about her screams “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” and we do. So in that way, she helps the music industry by just being herself. But her music has sucked for well over 10 years now and the electronic drivel that she’s been producing does absolutely nothing for me. That being said, this latest BREAKING NEWS FLASH from Popeater (and other sites, I’m sure) that Britney is being “looked into” by country crooner, David Bellamy, for stealing his lyrics. Lyrics he wrote some 30 years ago.

Oh come on.

30 years ago??? And now, because some pop princess has recorded a song that includes the words “…body would you hold it against me” it’s possible lawsuit material? Because she doesn’t even SAY the same line as the Bellamy Brothers did when they recorded their MEGA-HIT “If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body” back in 1979. Their lyrics say “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?” Britney’s version says “If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me.” It’s NOT the same thing! But someone has decided it’s the same CONCEPT and so now Britney is being put under the microscope ONCE AGAIN and the amount of noise this could make will, once again, allow her to retain the spotlight that she so desperately does not deserve.

Why does this continue to happen? Seriously…maybe if we just stopped buying her crap and then the paparazzi stopped following her, maybe she would just disappear…POOF…into the quietness of nothing, never to be heard from again. That would be so nice. But nooooooo…David Bellamy HAS to get HIS feathers all riled up and now Britney gets this free publicity and now everyone wonders what the hubbub is about and they buy Brit’s new single AND the old Bellamy Brothers tune to compare and they end up making more money off that single….

Oooooooooh….wait a minute….NOW  I get it…

Okay….so here’s the deal…SAVE your $2 and check out BOTH songs right here and tell me…what is the comparison? YOU be the judge…

Safe to say…they both suck. The end.

“Imma Be” VS “Bad Romance”

Through all my years, I’ve heard plenty of bad music before. I’ve survived everything from Starland Vocal Band to Skinny Puppy. But here lately, pop radio has hit an all-time low with these songs that seriously make me want to stick a hot poker in my ears. I can’t recall there EVER being such terrible music on NON-STOP on the radio in all my days. I cannot get into my car, turn on the radio and NOT hear either of these god-awful songs being played on ClearChannel station A, B, C, D or E. It’s gotten SO obnoxious that I felt I HAD to write about it. And this is where YOU get to play along.

So…which one SUCKS more?

I mean, they are both terrible. From the opening “Ra Ra Ra” cheer of “Bad Romance” to the opening “Imma be (repeat 300 times)” of “Imma Be”, there is very little redeeming about either song. Except for possibly the catchy refrain of “Bad Romance”, I would go so far as to say there has never been 2 worst songs on pop radio. And I might be wrong there. I’m sure, through the years, there HAD to have been 2 songs that charted on Billboard’s Top 100 that sucked, but I wonder if they ever got the airplay of these 2 songs combined?

So VOTE now! And unlike American Idol, it doesn’t cost you a dime. Just post your feelings in my comment section and together maybe we can start a revolution! NO MORE CRAPPY MUSIC!!! It’s OVER already! Let’s move on!

And a message to Clear Channel…PLEASE MAKE IT STOP?!?!  If you’ve been trapped under a large rock for the last 4 months, here are these 2 songs in all their glory. But a disclaimer: I take no responsibility if this noise makes you want to leap screaming from the nearest skyscraper.

I considered it…but I have kids.

Ugh…just awful…